Monday, February 20, 2012

The Lent Intention that I don't want...

Horse manure in sawdust over the garden - ready to be tilled and fertilize our garden.  Am I ready to be tilled and fertilized?
Today is the Monday before Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent.  I think I know what the Lord is wanting me to do for these 40 days but I don't think I can do it.  More than that I don't think I want to do it.  Joyce Meyer says that if God puts something in your heart to do, you better do it or it will always be there for you to do.  I can't reveal what it is here, though I have written it out in my journal.  Right now I am praying to be strong.  It is Monday and I have 2 days to decide...
I wrote this poem in 2005 when a close friend of mine died.  Why am I feeling like this again?  I guess that I know that if I make this Lenten intention, it will feel like this because I will need His strength every minute.  I know that I cannot do it and may not even be able to.  Do I want to?

My Limitations

My God, I’m yours, now and always; but more now as I sense my limitations and feel your presence.

My God, you are mine, now and always; but now I need You more since no one else around me can know me.

My future is now and all I see in the past has turned to now with a joy and a peace of seeing You here with me wanting to fulfill Your will.

I’m doing my best and offer all to You and trust You will bless all that I have started and all that I will dream.

My love has never seemed enough but now I know that it’s not up to me but You.

You are the peace in knowing that I’m just a small piece of You that always was and always will be.  So my own present, past and future is all in the same You; and that includes all of us in the now and in the then.

And so I pray my life to bless, for me and for all that are mine; and I
thank You, Lord, for Life, for Love, for Joy today,
and all my days.

Love you, Bea
August 2005

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