2014 You won't believe what happened to me!

My year Reflection 2014

2014 has come and gone. 

It went so fast, and yet so slow

with three surgeries on my bones. 

The hip replacement was my choice because of all the pain

But both my wrists! I did not want, how silly that I fell. 

Some scary time recovery is, because there's no control.  

Tired, frustrated, and disabled, it's normalcy I miss. 

I read more books this year than ever, with so much time to spare.  

Some helped me grow in health and spirit 

and some were just to cheer me. 

Because I could not hold a book my audiobooks were many. 

 I'd fall asleep with earbuds on, the timer set for thirty. 

I tried to think no scary thoughts, I could not use my hands.  

And now I’m thankful and rejoice to brush my teeth, and use my pens.

The nurse and cook this year was Don, 

he missed his fishing with all the chores.  

Supporter and encourager, he helped me, loving me and more!

And now, I pray for health and fun, 

with blessings and graces as this year comes. 

No doctor’s visits please, for me or Don and all of mine. 

There's more to share and do and care, 

we thank you God for a year of prayer!

What about the "doer" who is retired?

As I reflect on my goals and achievements being retired, I see that I can’t evaluate my life the in the same way.  Now my goals are not so much in the doing, but in the fun of living and being there for those I love.  It is in our health and our energy and desire to continue on this path.  What is this path?  It involves freedom and relaxation, but of a different kind.  Freedom always meant to me that I could do what I wanted, now I also want a freedom to do what others want of me, some of the time anyway.  I still need a freedom to be who and what I want to be and to become.  I see that I continue to change and become in ways that I never saw for me.  Well, that is not so different from what everyone else wants...

What about relaxation?  By this, I mean, relaxation from stress and conflict.  But, isn’t that also what most people want?  I used to embrace stress and used it to accomplish more.  Now, I hide from stress and get grouchy, when it interferes with my plans.  Before, I used to think of relaxation as the time that I would sit and do nothing - like on the beach or to read a book in the middle of the day.  Now, I want to do everything relaxed - not hurry - or with a deadline.  I used to like the pressure of having to do too much.  Now I’m finally learning that I can relax in my half-finished projects because I don’t have to put a deadline on them and can just let them sit there “para mañana."  But it's not easy; a part of me still craves to work on them and to be able to finish any one of them now!  I think Yoga has helped me with this because at these times I catch myself breathing deeply :) 

Now, living a RELAXED, STRESS-FREE LIFE does not mean I want to live a SLOW LIFE.  I want my days to be full and busy, I feel lost if I am not focused, or if I just wait to see what the day will bring.  I have always been a doer and want my life to flow.  Maybe I haven’t changed so much, only now that I am retired, I am able to do more, yet not everything - because I know that “everything" will never get done.  I don’t know if that is the same for everyone, it’s not something that people talk about.  Do others have these same conflicts?  

I never did write New Year's Resolutions for 2014…  because that was always just one more thing to plan for and do, so even in April, I say, NOT YET!

Gluten Free eating

Last Fall on a trip to St. Simons Island, we listened to the book -Wheat Belly by William Davis.  We were amazed at the facts and statistics about how wheat can be harmful to our health.   We understood just  enough to lead us to make the decision to attempt a gluten free lifestyle.  We don't think that we have Celiac Disease, but we wanted to see if we could be more healthy without wheat. 
Let me explain that we are not white bread eaters, except for Cuban bread.  We have been eating whole wheat pasta and whole grain bread and crackers for years.  (Except that the whole grain saltines are gross!)  We also watch Doctor Oz and decided to do the gluten free lifestyle.

Here is a picture of some cookies that I made yesterday using gluten free flour.

We made the decision, not for a weight loss tool, like many are doing.  We wanted to see if maybe we wouldn't have some of the maladies that we were suffering from.  I myself know that I have an "addiction" to bread and white flour products.  I am constantly looking for something to snack on.  I binge.  When I eat one (cookie, or bread product) I can't stop...   But now now!!

So we have been mostly gluten free since October 25.  I lost 5 pounds right away.  When I went to the doctor's for my yearly checkup, the nurse and the doctor commented on how I weighs less that last year.  I was a victim of the 2+ weight gain each year....
 I admit we ate wheat during several family get togethers but only for one or 2 days.  When I got my best friend's Christmas package of yummy cookies and cakes, I did indulge but most of it went to the freezer.  The kids sure enjoyed us sharing it!  Since I haven't given up sugar, I still gained weight over the holidays, but only 3 pounds, not the usual 6.  I'm almost back to the weight I lost.

In the beginning of our gluten free lifestyle, I was looking for all kinds of substitutes.  I went to the Indian market and bought (white) rice flour, chick pea flour, barley flour, and coconut flour.  We checked out books from the library for gluten free recipes but they were too complicated.   I was totally grossed out by what xanthan gum is made of, but I bought it anyway.   

Why do you have to mix so many different kids of flour?  Of course, the recipes don't call for the flour that I had bought at the Indian market.   I did try .... with almond flour and we stored the extra in a vacuum sealed container which Don didn't reseal.  After 3 days I saw mold growing on it.  Later we read that you have to freeze what you don't eat right away.  That is why gluten free bread is only sold frozen.  

We found a gluten free pizza dough mix and tried it this week and it was good!  It tasted the same as pizza and the package said all whole grain.

It is a process...

Infinity Scarves by Angie for sale!

Angie's customer wearing the scarf

 Since I retired, I have been doing more sewing and crafting but am so excited that my daughter has taken up sewing!
She has just recently started making some super light weight, jersey, infinity scarves and is selling them at a great price in all different colors. 

See the pictures and choose the one you like.  She has many colors and can also order one and make it especially for you!  She is setting up an online store but is not ready with that yet.  You can buy them with an invoice that she sends you from paypal and can use your credit card.  If she sells a bunch, I might even help her with some of the sewing (since I don't do anything all day...)

Order from her facebook page: Sew-Blessed

She is also making applique designs and machine embroidered letters.  You can choose the design and even supply the shirt.  I don't have any more pictures of this!

Angie made these!

Angie and her little boy, Durham on his birthday.  She made all the decorations.

One year of Retirement!

I want to celebrate that it's been a year since I retired!  What have I have liked most about this time of my life?  Accomplishments, is that what is the most important?  At first I was addicted to Pinterest.  Now I don't pin too much, mostly use it as a resource.  In the Spring, I got so busy with selling my dvd Learn to Swim with Miss Bea with a facebook page, another blog, and my Amazon sales that kept me so busy!  Now I am taking a break from that.  (Except I have an idea to put a special 2 for one sale for the Holidays!)  

The garden and the beach, the birth of grandchild number 5, and being with my kids and other grandkids and husband...  

Isabella

But still, everyone asks, what are you doing with your time now?  My kids and grandkids love to say that Mimi and Papa have nothing to do!  In this blog, I have written about some of what has been important since my retirement.  I think that when I feel uncertain or anxious at times it is when I try to measure my life, when I try to put a value on it.

5 grandchildren!  Love, love, love!

I am not afraid of time passing.  I am sometimes afraid that I am "wasting" it.  How can it be?  Time is mine and no one can take it away from me because now I choose what to do with it.  It has become more valuable because it is all mine.  No other person is directing me.  Since I choose what to do with my time it I feel responsible never to waste it.  

Last week I didn't have any commitments to my kids and grands, and I realized that I had so many choices of things to do but I wasn’t wanting to do any of them.  All were things on my list, a list that I had made!  Reading them I found that I didn’t want to do any of them!  And I didn't!  God gave me this time to relax and enjoy and I'm giving it back to God!

Caroline at the park

As with many other retired folks, "the worth of time" has been on my mind for that last months...  Bob Lowery in Satisfying Retirement  says, "More than ever, I appreciate the eternity present in this, and every, holy instant."

Micaela

In her magazine of Sept. 2011, after she stopped her daily show, Opra wrote about her frustration with time as she struggled to start her new TV station:

“Everywhere I turn, new beginnings and big changes abound for me.  The inevitable truth is that everything changes.  We’re not meant to look the same or act the same year in and year out.  Growth brings new potential.  And I know for sure that when you’re open to receiving them, the possibilities just keep on coming.”

Andrew, Lauren, Isabella

My father loved the song, Turn, Turn Turn by the Byrds with the words of Solomon in Ecclesiastes and we used to sing it for him with my sister playing in the guitar.  I even learned to play it on the guitar.  But  now that I am retired, the words have a different meaning.

1. To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
2. A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, a time to reap that which is planted;
3. A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4. A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5. A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6. A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7. A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8. A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

In AD Chronicles by Boede and Thoene Cantor explains the words of Solomon to Lily, to look at time as God sees time eternally. From the book about the lepers, page 222:

  

“Fear not…  Fear nothing. Fear no man... From the earliest days, the Lord has taught his ways to Israel through the prophets.  We can understand any event through the language of God’s Word… We may only see a fragment of his plan and misunderstand… and always, the events continue to unfold beyond our short lifetimes... 

See that?  The light from that star began its journey to your eye perhaps ten thousand years ago.  So it is with everything set in motion on this earth.  Solomon wrote that in each life there is a time for us to be born and a time to die.  There were twenty-eight things Solomon wrote as the Times in our lives between birth and death.  But I tell you the truth: When we follow and believe the master plan within God’s Word, we are beyond the reach of time… 

Every step is marked out for you… just walk.  What you and I do now for God is like the light of that star.  To someone yet unborn you are a distant star.  What good you do now may shine forth, yet it may not be seen or received by anyone during your lifetime.  But then your act of kindness will someday change the destiny of someone far in the future.  A thousand or two thousand years from this moment.  What we do now matters eternally.  The written Word of the Almighty lets us study and see how the eternal picture is unfolding through generations.  Whatever we suffer now?  We can have faith that, in the end, even our suffering will be golden thread in the eternal tapestry….

Our destiny is already recorded in the Book… Everyting matters.  Every word, Deed. Thought, Prayer.  Fear not!  It is time that makes us fear.  Fear of running out of time.  There is no time where we are going… The prayer we pray today…we think God does not hear?  It may yet be answered for our grandchildren, or their grandchildren…

God is the God of the living, not the dead.  No matter what happens in this life, Fear not."

Just live and laugh, like Micaela my newest niece!!!

Let's go shrimpin'! (on the Lady Jane)

I've been wanting to go on the Lady Jane since I read about it!  It seemed to me the perfect time when Cristi and Juani came to visit for the week.
Are there other shrimpin' boat cruises out there that do the same?

Video of birds on a wire 

Just up and Leave!

Wow!  This is the first time that we retired, we just up and left the house and came here to St. Simons for the week.  Don and I were looking at the calendar and making plans for the day and I suggested that since the kids didn't need us, we had no doctor's appointments nothing else scheduled, we could do a quick gardening and watering and go off...

Last weekend we had Caroline for 4 days and nights while they went to New York to celebrate their 5 year wedding anniversary.  It was so much fun!  We worked on potty training and she went 3 times, one time running and saying "big potty".  Another time I cleaned up a big puddle off the floor...
She slept in the big girl bed for the first time and loved it.  She is such a sweetheart!  I love it when she sings and I can tell by the tune what she is singing - certainly not by the words!

Caroline wins the clean plate award!

Then Tuesday we picked up Lauren and Andrew at the bus stop and then Isabella at day care.  I loved doing homework with Andrew and playing "dance" with Lauren.  Isabella was awake for 2 hours and though I didn't get her "talking to me," I got several with her eyes wide open and smiling!
When it was time for what I thought was time for Isabella to sleep, she would not go down but fell asleep on me and I held her until Brian came home.  What a delight.

Isabella talking to me!

Unfortunately it's been raining, windy and cloudy since we got here, so the beach hasn't been much fun.  Watch and hear the sand blow in the video!  It hurt when it hit my legs when I was walking.  There were only a few brave souls walking and needless to say, I didn't go in the water!

Last night we went to see the movie, The Words.  It certainly gave me much to think about that I usually try not to think about.  My new blog friend wrote about the movie: http://chelencarter-retiredandlovingit.blogspot.com/  I don't agree with all of what Chris wrote though: "but Rory never moved on, and was tormented by nightmares until he focused his grief on another book, one that'd allow him to tell the true story of the manuscript. Rory titled the book The Words."  

Is that clear in the movie, what do you think?

Yeah!  Went boogie boarding tonight.
The tide was high, the sun was setting, the waves were just right for an old retired lady to enjoy without being afraid of twisting an ankle or a knee.  That's me on one of the smaller waves.

Tomorrow we have plans to go fishing so I will add more pictures of all the fish I'm going to catch!

Wedding anniversary - 41 years!

,

Today, Don and I celebrate being married for 41 years!  

Living retired this last year has been like getting to know and accept each other in ways that we never did before.  

Every day is different and I want every day together to be wonderful and filled, happy and healthy!

Here is a poem I wrote for our 30 year anniversary.

What do you think?

You never did that before!

By Bea Skeens, March 30, 2000

Our love is ever new.

Even after years with you,

There is always more to discover

And so much more joy

To give one another.

What can I do

To make our love grow?

It’s in the giving

That love really shows.

To feel so uncertain

And yet take the risk…

To be understood and needed

Is my only wish.

The comings and goings

In every direction

Hugging and kissing…

More I can’t mention.

We listen and wait

To share with each other

We put aside our busy-ness… 

You’re never a bother.

Accepting the moods

Of silence and caring,

We try to make better

Each frustration together.

When you tell me your problem,

You allow me to be

Your healing and soothing,          

 A mystery to me.

When we feel all stressed out

And just want to scream

We take off together

Refreshing our dreams.

I want you to be happy

In each daily chore

And to feel so fulfilled

That you’ll want to do more.

When I wake up happy,

You don’t give me a frown.

When I share my schemes,

You don’t put me down.

When something upsets me,

You give me that look

That calms and refills me

With the peace that it took.

You open my Spirit;

You stir up the Power;

God’s Love we can be…

Everywhere, every hour.

Thank You, God,

Thank You

That we have each other.

Thank You for making us

To love one another.

  

Good-bye Summer!

This weekend we went to the condo one final time before school started - for the kids that is!  I have been retired one year now and this is the second time that I can relax at this time of year and not be all stressed out about going back to school!  Don't forget that I loved it while I was doing it but now that I'm not, it just makes me happy!  We sure packed in lots of crabbing and beach in two days!

Andrew, Lauren and Isabella are ready for the beach!

Some beach activities:

Making real sandcastles!

fishing for small fish to play with!

crabbing at the pier

Yummy!  Crabs for dinner!

hermit crabs to play with!

Andrew found this moon shell with his feet while we were looking for sand dollars in the water.

It is the biggest moon shell we had ever found!  He said that he felt it and thought it might be a crab but still decided to pull on it.  It was stuck in the sand like it is stuck on his hand here!

Isabella is six weeks today!  She still mostly sleeps or cries for her bottle.  These moments of communication are so special!